GBV & Femicide in South Africa

The Roots and Reinforcement of a Systematic crisis

Femicide, defined as the killing of women because they are women, remains a grave and persistent issue in South Africa, with the country facing one of the highest rates of gender-based violence (GBV) in the world. This is not just an alarming statistic but it’s a reflection of the rot in our society’s soul. It is a war woman never signed up for, yet they fight it daily, in the streets, workplaces, and worst of all in their homes. Behind every headline is a story of pain, systematic failure, and the reinforcement of violent norms that strip women of their humanity. To truly confront this crisis, we must analyse societal and cultural roots that allow such violence to persist. This article will connect the dots between how we raise our children, the deep scars left behind by patriarchy, and the harmful narratives that perpetuate these cycles of violence.

How we were raised: Emotional neglect and Patriarchy

South African households have long been shaped by a culture that undervalues emotional well-being, in our households’ emotions are often seen as a weakness especially for boys. From a young age, boys are told to “Man Up” “Indoda ayikhali (men don’t cry)”, suppress their feelings and resolve conflict with aggression rather than understanding. Vulnerability is treated as a flaw breeding men who struggle to process emotions in healthy ways. This emotional suppression feeds into toxic masculinity, where power and control become the primary ways men relate to others, especially women.

At the same time, women, mothers and grandmothers have borne the weight of patriarchal oppression, internalizing the idea that their worth is tied to their roles as caregivers and subordinates. They are told to make sacrifices to avoid confrontation and endure hardships in silence. This dynamic sets the stage for toxic relationships where men dominate, and women comply. It creates adults who see violence not as an aberration but as a natural outcome of power struggles. The systematic devaluation of women has not only stifled their empowerment but also bred resentment and competition among women across generations. Older women, conditioned to accept their diminishing roles, sometimes view the empowerment of younger women as a threat to the very system that oppresses them, perpetuating the patriarchal norms that oppress them all.

This failure to nurture emotional intelligence feeds directly into gender-based violence. Healthy humans, grounded in emotional security, do not feel the need to dominate or harm others. A society that neglects emotional well-being breeds broken individuals, and broken people hurt each other.

The legacy of devaluation

Lobola is undeniably one of South Africa’s most cherished traditions, steeped in history, culture, and deep sense of community. At it’s core lobola represents respect, gratitude, and the coming together of two families in unity. It is a symbol of love, where the groom’s family acknowledges the value of the bride and express appreciation to her family for raising her. But like many cultural practices, lobola has not been immune to distortion. It has in some instances been used to perpetuate harmful power dynamics that devalue women. When lobola is treated as a transaction rather than a symbolic gesture it risks reducing women to commodities to be bought, owned, and controlled leading to power imbalances that can escalate to violence. This strips woman of their individuality turning them into caretakers of men and families, while men retain their autonomy and power. It is important to note that the issue lies not in the tradition itself but in how it has been exploited within a system that prioritizes control over connection.

For generations, women have internalized this devaluation. Many older women, shaped by these norms, see younger women who refuse to submit as threats rather than allies. This creates a painful cycle: women, instead of standing together, sometimes reinforce the very system that oppresses them. It is also important to understand it is not these older women that are the problem but the system. Patriarchy seeks to divide and conquer, pitting women against each other ensuring that these harmful systems remain intact.

“Healthy Humans Don’t Want to Hurt Humans”

This is a very important statement striking at the heart of the issue. Violence is not an innate human trait, but it is learned behaviour rooted in dysfunction. Immanuel Kant a German philosopher argues that every individual has inherent worth and must never be treated as a means to an end. Femicides violates this fundamental principle by reducing women to objects, objects of anger, control, or revenge. A truly healthy society is one where every individual’s dignity is respected, and violence becomes unthinkable. Jean-Jacques Rousseau a Genevan philosopher believes that humans are born good but are corrupted by societal structures. In South Africa, patriarchy, inequality, and systematic violence warp human behaviour. Men are not born to hate or hurt women; they are thought to. To address issues surrounding GBV requires us to dismantle these corrupting forces, creating a society that nurtures compassion, equality, and respect.

Philosophy reminds us that violence is not inevitable, but rather a failure of humanity, and we can choose to be better.

Social Media: Desensitization and Pseudo-Intellectualism

Social media plays a double agent role in the conversations surrounding GBV and femicide. On one hand it provides a platform for survivors to share their stories, activists to raise awareness, it amplifies voices and provides a platform to demand accountability. At the same time, they have also desensitized the public to acts of violence, reducing them to mere hashtags and trending headlines. Graphic videos and images circulate widely turning brutality into background noise. This normalization strips these acts of their horror, making them seem inevitable or even excusable, a lazy and defeatist perspective that absolves society of it’s responsibility to change.

Social media has worst of all given rise to pseudo-intellectual explanations of GBV, twisting the narrative. Influencers and users often dissecting these acts of violence in a way that subtly justify the actions of perpetrators claiming to be objective and pointing out the victim’s “flaws” “mistakes”. These analyses, which refer to the victim's perceived faults or decisions, not only shift blame onto the victim but also provide a blueprint for others to rationalize violence. The trend of dissecting the circumstances of a violent act often claims to be an objective exploration of the problem. However, this approach does something insidious: it creates a false equivalence between the victim's actions and the perpetrator's violence. By stating, "The perpetrator may have been wrong, but the victim was also wrong" such narratives imply that the victim's behaviour somehow provoked or justified the violence or that the violence is a direct consequence of the victim’s actions. This framing diminishes the perpetrator's accountability and reinforces the harmful idea that violence is a natural or unavoidable response to conflict.

We must outright reject these narratives as they are dangerous for our society. There is no justification for femicide. Violence is not a debate it is a moral failure that must be condemned without hesitation.

The system is broken; Law enforcement and Justice

The South African legal system is failing women. While laws exist on paper to protect victims of GBV, their implementation is riddled with flaws. Police officers, often the first point of contact for victims, are undertrained, insensitive, and, in some cases, complicit. Survivors are met with scepticism, blame, or outright dismissal when they seek help, forcing many to stay silent.

Even when cases are reported, conviction rates remain shockingly low. The message is clear: the system does not value women’s lives enough to deliver justice. This lack of accountability emboldens perpetrators and leaves survivors feeling abandoned.

We need:

1. Specialized GBV Units: Trained professionals who handle cases with sensitivity and urgency.

2. Strict Accountability: Officers who fail victims must face consequences.

3. Fast-Tracking GBV Cases: The judicial system must prioritize these cases to deliver justice swiftly and effectively.

Without changes to our legal system, it will continue to betray the very people it is meant to protect.

A Revolution not a Reform

Femicide is not just a women’s issue, it is a societal crisis. Solving it requires a revolution not just in laws but in culture, education, and consciousness. We must prioritize teaching emotional intelligence and gender equality from a young age. Boys must be taught that strength lies in respect and not domination, while girls must be taught to take up their space without fear.

A Cultural shift is required. We must challenge and dismantle patriarchal norms in families, workplaces. And communities. We must demand accountability from those in power. We must demand better from the police, courts, and society at large. We must hold perpetrators and more importantly enablers accountable. Women must stand together across generations, breaking cycles of division that patriarchy thrives on.

South Africa cannot afford to normalize femicide. Behind every statistic is a woman who deserves to live, a woman with dreams and aspirations, a woman who deserves her autonomy, a voice deserving to be heard, a story. Healthy humans do not hurt each other. Femicide is the consequence of a sick society, and the only cure is to dismantle the systems that breed violence.

This is a war, against our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our aunts, our grandmothers, our neighbors, our school mates, our teachers, the lady you’ve never heard of that’s 2 cities away, a young lady from another province with the potential to change the world, and it will not be won with complacency. It demands bold action, radical compassion, and an unwavering commitment to justice. The time for a revolution is now. For every woman lost, and for every woman still fighting, we must rise.

“Patriarchy is not a system to reform it is a system to dismantle. Its roots are deep, nourished by the silence and complacency of generations, but it can be uprooted by the collective power of those who refuse to bow to it any longer. The blood of every woman lost demands that we burn down the structures that make their deaths possible. This is not a plea for change it is a demand for liberation. Let it be known: Women are not asking for permission to exist in peace—they are taking it. And as a man, I stand with them. I refuse to be complicit in a society that devalues, silences, and harms women. The revolution is not coming it is here. For the women who have been lost and those who continue to fight, we must all rise, together." L. Nqose